By now, I am 20 years and 8 months old, but sometimes I feel much older.
Especially when being confronted with teenagers or children, I feel like 40. I then often forget that I was a teenager myself some years ago.
Well, I wasn’t a typical teenager, I guess.
My horse-phase lasted as long as it took to read two books. They were a present. I do not dislike horses; I’m a fan of fantasy stories, and the heroes there are used to ride. But I sat on a horse back once, many years ago and I got sick. I respect horses and people who ride. But I favour owls and cats, sorry.
But back to the topic. Yeah, I was in love with bands which I now do not like anymore. I too had one or two crushes in school, but since almost no one of the boys liked younger bookish me, I had no boyfriend on lower classes (until class 12, after a previous change of school).
As far as I remember, I didn’t have a spite phase. I always got along well with my parents in my teen years. I liked school very much, even with being hated and insulted by some poor stupid minds.
I never went out late, got drunk or smoked. Never had wrong friends. Some may find it boring, because I have nothing to tell about parties and vomiting and kissing ugly boys and so on. But I enjoyed reading and watching TV and “networking” with my family and friends.
Now that I am starting to live on my own, I see the advantages of it. I can come home from cinema (and watch the late movies) or parties whenever I want.
One thing I like of being an adult is the fact that you can say “du” (informal addressing) to other adults, which is not natural when you’re quite younger. Also I am addressed the formal way (in German “Sie” and Ms./Mrs. last name), which I really like. I am old-fashioned, I know. My friend A. and I even addressed each other that way one evening… As a gag.
The disadvantage of getting older is the loss of childishness. I still have a five-year-old-version of myself in me, which loves soap bubbles, swinging, sledging, balancing and doing crazy things. I think that everyone needs such an inner child. If you lose it, you’ll get angry, embittered and won’t be able to feel joy anymore. There is a very sad German song about this, I guess. Well, I can do all that, but people will look at me strangely and think that I am crazy or insane. That doesn’t worry me, by the way.
That’s why I like and dislike growing older.
Current music: None. TV was running.
Franz Kafka – Der Proceß
H.P. Lovecraft – Dagon and Other Macabre Tales (in German)
Current mood: amused